Saturday, January 30, 2016

My Journey of Healing

**My Journey of Healing**
I have to share with you what happened to me on Friday (1/29/16). So, I've been majorly working on practicing faith this week. I started claiming and speaking healing verses more than ever, because with all my infertility stuff (20 years), I have struggled with believing healing would happen to me.....everyone else... but not me, I thought. Yet, after a full month of struggling intensely with having a blood clot (deep vein thrombosis & superficial clots) in my right arm and chest and knowing I could face a pulmonary embolism, I dropped to my knees and have stood in re-newed faith. Read on for what is happening! 
Friday, I kept getting delayed with the Vascular Surgeon's office scheduling my pre-op to have it complete for Monday. Next thing you know, I got a call at 12:30 and the doc can't find a local hospital in this area (that she is certified for) that has nursing staff feeling trained and adequate to care for me in ICU for this procedure (Huge red flag). She tells us she is going to do it in Decatur, Texas, so go by 2pm. It's 30-45 minutes away from Fort Worth and our area. Strange but ok. Pulling up I kept saying, yikes this feels weird. The scheduler was explaining the intense risks (internal or external bleeding, immediate embolism, etc). But, hey, I'm so ready to be 100%, and the surgeon explained why it was critically important to do it ASAP on Thursday. I am willing to risk it to avoid the risk with the clot. Unexpectedly, the doc called us at 3pm when we were at the pre-op appointment and wanted to see me in person as soon as I was done. 
I went to her office and she said that after consulting some other doctors she wanted to see me before proceeding with the procedure next week. She consulted with 5 other doctors and they were split on if it was safe for me. 4 of 6 said it was a bad idea to do it to an otherwise healthy young lady. She said she knew she needed to see me to decide. In the midst of it all, I hadn't even realized my arm wasn't even 3/4 as swollen and is almost the same size as my other arm. And my pain slowly has been diminishing since Monday. Only 4 days ago - after weeks of intensity....healing! I am so much improved since Monday when she first met me that she said she is canceling the procedure.
It really is incredible! I've been beyond amazed. I didn't know how to feel when she cancelled, but realized over the last 24 hours. It's the prayers unraveling before my eyes!!!!! All week I've been saying I believed the blood of Jesus was going to supernaturally flow through my veins and dissolve the clot and I will experience radical healing. I've prayed for it to amaze doctors and drop prayer warriors to their knees in praise at how supernatural healing is seen in person! I keep saying this verse this week! “Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.”
Matthew 21:21 NIV. It's thrilling to be in this process and see it manifesting. And can you imagine the testimony of this in days to come. So exciting!

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Dignified Beauty

Stories of perceived bravery, courage, freedom, truth-seeking, beauty, perceptions and strength have headlined this year. I decided to search the Bible for some answers. What determines feminine beauty? 

Proverbs 31. The word dignity caught my eye. I became enthralled with the complexity of this word. "She is clothed in strength & dignity and laughs at days to come." 25

Dignity – Strong’s Dictionary 1926 – magnificence, that is, ornament or splendor: beauty, comeliness, excellency, glorious, glory, goodly, honor, majesty.

Strong's shows the Greek word for dignity encompasses a woman who carries herself with amazing confidence and has no need for recognition for who she is or what she does. You see, this treasured-vessel strives for excellence, only answering to her King. She has no need to look around (seeking attention) because majesty radiates from her inmost being.

Scripture describes what "bravery, courage, freedom, truth-seeking, beauty, perceptions, & strength" was originated to look like in society. It's the opposite of what media pushes for it to be in today's perception. It is dignity. Refined living radiating a dignified beauty.

I've decided to continue striving towards strength & dignity the Proverbs 31 way. Laughing at the silliness of "days to come" which try to distract me from the ultimate purpose. Laughing because those days hold no power or comparison to the places overcome in past days. Never doubting the Bible is the ultimate truth and foundation for beauty. I'm calling out for you to come with me (down the road less travelled) into a dignified beauty way of life.

What determines beauty for you? I found my answer.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Mrs. Titanium

The last year has been quite a journey for me. It was a season of rest, spiritual retreat and physical healing. February of 2014 began the rough road of new injury. I fell off the steps of a friend's house when leaving it one evening. The result was a broken foot, not just one place but three areas and a pulled tendon. Much of the year was about overcoming. In November, my knee gave away (again) while walking down stair at my house and I took another tumble. This was the point I gave in to the pending total knee replacement. It was looming over me since 2006.

Now, I'm in recovery mode. December 2014, I became Mrs. Titanium. The journey has been extremely difficult. Activity and adventure are part of life for me. Getting back to life without limits has taught me the importance of recognizing limitations and rest.

A new season is approaching. One with activity and adventure. Most importantly, it is a season of anointed progress. Stay tuned. The world is about to shift a little more Amber colored.


Thursday, March 6, 2014

Celebrating Limits

Limitless living. What an exhilarating thought. Standing in a place where nothing or no-one can stop you from every single thing you want in life. Dare devil activities would be the norm with no consequences. Yet, in fact, getting out of bed is risky. Choosing to face life with all the obstacles requires risk.

My healing journey requires limited days. A limited day for me is one like I had recently. Bravely, I faced the truth of struggles swirling around me. I made it from my pillow to my toothbrush. Grabbed a handful of tissues and my head went back to my pillow. On a day like it, I imagined the words many may lovingly say to me. Words like, turn to God's strength not your own or just surrender it all and you will feel better. I love the scriptures of truth that in Him we can soar like an eagle, run and not get weary; clearly knowing His strength is perfect; being certain that in Christ I can do all things....including celebrating my weakness.

2 Corinthians 13:5-9 says to test that you are strong in the faith. Don't take things for granted. The message version says, "give yourself regular checkups." Profoundly accurate the last section says, we don't just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength of the TRUTH in you. The truth is a war is raging against me. But, on my "limited days" the extravagant love of God sees me into the next day.

Certain times, we need a friend to bring over a box of tissues and pull up a trash can for our saturated snotty rags. Yet, vulnerability in itself is risky, limitless actually. It is a risk worth taking with ones tried and true. Lean on the few who "earn the right to hear your story" as Brene Brown speaks of in her profound writing.

Inhale/Exhale - one breathe at a time - one word prayers which echo back boundless love from heaven, some days like that are more intimate than hours on my knees with lots of words. 

Limits - not a bad word at all. Quite opposite, it is the one things that may help mend that wounded soul. Restoration comes from living days where you rest, cry it out, call your confidant. Agreeable harmony with your spirit, soul, body, and the Creator creating limitless exhilaration.....

Celebrate limits! Be assured, you are not alone. Live within your limits. I love that I get to love you! xo

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Courageous Parents

"The Few. The Proud. The Marines." This is an impressive slogan for the brave Marine Corp. They protect our freedom. They are trained for combat. Marines are strong heroes. My heart is forever thankful for them. Courage is not only for the military. It is required in the life of a parent. says, Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.,without fear; bravery. I must admit, I'm not always courageous. Fear creeps up and slaps me in the face. Difficulty attempts to flag me down and hold me in bondage. Yet, because I journey Christ's freedom process my mind/spirit has developed a "quality" to overcome, fear does not win. 

Parents have this unspoken responsibility of ensuring tiny creatures grow up to be courageous and positive forces in life. Simply put, parents are in a daily battle. This battle is not for the weak. It takes strength and love. Relying on self is a sure-fire way to fail in the parenting business. Without going to the very source of freedom, there is no way for victory. Freedom is found after facing the scariest areas inside ourselves. 

Most people are still searching for daily release from their own downfalls. Add in the responsibility of battling for other life's at the same time. This combination will either be successful or a complete nightmare. It is like watching a movie where the lead actor is tied up to a tree and must help their love out of quicksand. Can it be done? Absolutely, it is Hollywood. The lead actor wiggles and wiggles until the chains miraculously fall from them and they rush to successfully rescue their greatest love just in the nick of time. What about the unscripted every day movie playing out in the life of parents and one of their greatest loves, their children? How can chains be broken so parenting difficulty is overcome? There is only one Great Magician. His magic is not illusion. He is the "Great, I am." 

Parenting is not for the weak. We are weak in our own power. Simple realignment establishes bravery and courage. Ephesians 6:19-20, "And don’t forget to pray for me. Pray that I’ll know what to say and have the courage to say it at the right time, telling the mystery to one and all, the Message that I, jailbird preacher that I am, am responsible for getting out." Today, I am praying for all parents. You are protecting the heart and lives of your children. Teaching them to be brave warriors who are fighting darkness. You are a hero. Let your courage shine and break through your weariness. Turn to the greatest Warrior of all times. He is ready and waiting to help you.  

The Free. The Courageous. The Parents. 


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day Reflection

Welsh Family 2012
Mother's Day has not always been a day of celebration for me. 8 years passed and every Mother's Day I cried. I sobbed tears of heartbreak and prayers begging for my desire to be fulfilled. Infertility can make Mother's Day painstaking for many. The journey is part of the beauty of where I am today. You see, motherhood comes different for some. Now I am a "mother" to many.  

11 years ago I became Mom to 8 different little ones who walked into my house and then back out through foster care. 10 years ago, 2 bundles knocked at my door and stayed through adoption. 5 years ago, 2 more little lives walked into my life and stayed through marriage. 

Over the last 3 years, I've taken into my heart 3 beautiful daughter's to sponsor from Malawi, Africa and 2 remain under my financial; prayer care.  A year ago, I ministered at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and now get to watch the life of 1 bundle of joy whose mama choose to bring him into this world because of God's words through me.  

Each child impacts me in a different way. I impact each child in a different capacity. The impact is the same....



This Mother's Day, I cry again. My life is full, overflowing with activity, sacrifice, prayers, guidance, laughter, tears, and consistent discipleship of many. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Surrendering to Rest

Exhausted, fallen yet hope-filled and faithful is the Biblical image of Jesus on the cross. He was hope-filled because His mind was set on the things above. He was faithful because He knew His father well enough to be certain that better times were coming. His sacrifice was worth the pain. Here I sit reflecting on my sacrifice. Since before I left for Africa in July I see the writing. My own words scribbled in my journal, "Father, I surrender my will, my plans, my hopes, my desires, and everything I want to you." What I have seen happen is to have all the things I believed in from a natural standpoint striped away. It's caused my heart to waiver, my faith to crumble, but through it all I surrender to His plan for me. The plan of the Creator can't always be understood by human eyes and my over active mind which loves to plan it all out. 

The journey is my journey because I was bold enough to take a moment to give it all up. I was brave enough to relinquish my own desires. The road is far from over and the journey is not paved. I can never compare my own sacrifice to that of the Savior yet I can reflect on how He reacted to the pain. I don't know how or what is to come. I can't see the end but I can choose to follow the faithfulness of Jesus. He knew His father well enough to know that better times were coming. I know the same. Yesterday, I clearly heard that still small voice inside say to let go and rest during this time of the unknown. So, I rest. While my man searches for a job in the midst of this layoff, I stand in complete surrender. While the medical reasons for my pain and sickness go unanswered, I stand in complete surrender. While we struggle to raise a child who has multiple special need struggles, I stand in complete surrender. While I have receive the diagnosis that forces me to relinquish my fertility producting plans towards bearing a child after 16 years of infertility, I stand in complete surrender. 

Crumbled faith does not have to stay in a heap. Instead, it is being re-established. Miracles abound in the midst of faith-filled living. There is a solid purpose in faith and surrender. Hope is not lost. It is found. My words do not go void as they travel to the throne. I surrender it all because He is the one who loved me enough to surrender it all for me. Don't stay defeated in your seemingly defeated position in life. There is hope. 

If I can do this, so can you. Together, we stand with arms high and hearts abandoned to the One who gave it all.