Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Broken and Spilled Out

In 2007 during the time of my divorce I wrote these thoughts. Journey with me through the feels in the dark time to what I've been shown through the pain.

Rambling from my heart in a dark time......
When a person is brave what will they do? Is bravery a fight for justice or surrendering once defeat is realized? With my heart on the line and nothing but the sound of the keyboard and tears hitting the keys I ponder these questions. Who said it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all? That is an absurd statement in my opinion.

To love is to put your heart, soul and being on the line. When putting yourself out on the line in every way and that same love isn't returned where does it leave your heart, soul and being? This is the age old question of so many romances of the past. Romeo and Juliet ended their entire beings for love. Cinderella stood above it all and found a happy end to her trials, but did she? Has anyone heard the rest of her story? What happened in the castle in the days following the grand wedding and kiss? Nothing in life is the fairytale we all dream it could be because unresolved feelings and hurts from the past left unhealed and so many other things stand in the way of the fantasty.

Life is only perfect in the movies and cartoons. What happens to us when we wake up and find out our fairytale ends without the goosebumps of a lifetime commitment? Covenants aren't what they use to be in the old days. The only ways covenants could be broken was by something getting killed and blood was shed for it. Covenants broken still require death and the shedding of blood through the unmentionable pain faced by those who are living the nightmare. It isn't enough to love someone if it isn't returned. When the other person realizes how they feel then the lover has to figure out how to heal the blood shed.

- Pain is fleeting but so devestating during the storm. I discovered an important truth about fairy tales. They are real but they do not look like cartoons display them. I live in my very own magical world of revelation, miracles and supernatural rumblings. Running into the arms of the Creator of the Universe is a fairy tale of its very own. If you are suffering through a time like I was as I cried out for understanding in the writing, be encouraged. There is a time on the other side of the pain that is filled with rejoicing. Run into the arms of the one true Prince! The Prince of Peace. You are a Princess of the Most High King. Embrace the truth of real love. It comes from an unchanging source. He doesn't stop loving. He doesn't give up on the covenant you have together. He is the one true Bridegroom.

Romans 8:39 (New International Version)
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.