Celebrating Limits

Limitless living. What an exhilarating thought. Standing in a place where nothing or no-one can stop you from every single thing you want in life. Dare devil activities would be the norm with no consequences. Yet, in fact, getting out of bed is risky. Choosing to face life with all the obstacles requires risk.

My healing journey requires limited days. A limited day for me is one like I had recently. Bravely, I faced the truth of struggles swirling around me. I made it from my pillow to my toothbrush. Grabbed a handful of tissues and my head went back to my pillow. On a day like it, I imagined the words many may lovingly say to me. Words like, turn to God's strength not your own or just surrender it all and you will feel better. I love the scriptures of truth that in Him we can soar like an eagle, run and not get weary; clearly knowing His strength is perfect; being certain that in Christ I can do all things....including celebrating my weakness.

2 Corinthians 13:5-9 says to test that you are strong in the faith. Don't take things for granted. The message version says, "give yourself regular checkups." Profoundly accurate the last section says, we don't just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength of the TRUTH in you. The truth is a war is raging against me. But, on my "limited days" the extravagant love of God sees me into the next day.

Certain times, we need a friend to bring over a box of tissues and pull up a trash can for our saturated snotty rags. Yet, vulnerability in itself is risky, limitless actually. It is a risk worth taking with ones tried and true. Lean on the few who "earn the right to hear your story" as Brene Brown speaks of in her profound writing.

Inhale/Exhale - one breathe at a time - one word prayers which echo back boundless love from heaven, some days like that are more intimate than hours on my knees with lots of words. 

Limits - not a bad word at all. Quite opposite, it is the one things that may help mend that wounded soul. Restoration comes from living days where you rest, cry it out, call your confidant. Agreeable harmony with your spirit, soul, body, and the Creator creating limitless exhilaration.....

Celebrate limits! Be assured, you are not alone. Live within your limits. I love that I get to love you! xo

Surrendering to Rest

Exhausted, fallen yet hope-filled and faithful is the Biblical image of Jesus on the cross. He was hope-filled because His mind was set on the things above. He was faithful because He knew His father well enough to be certain that better times were coming. His sacrifice was worth the pain. Here I sit reflecting on my sacrifice. Since before I left for Africa in July I see the writing. My own words scribbled in my journal, "Father, I surrender my will, my plans, my hopes, my desires, and everything I want to you." What I have seen happen is to have all the things I believed in from a natural standpoint striped away. It's caused my heart to waiver, my faith to crumble, but through it all I surrender to His plan for me. The plan of the Creator can't always be understood by human eyes and my over active mind which loves to plan it all out. 

The journey is my journey because I was bold enough to take a moment to give it all up. I was brave enough to relinquish my own desires. The road is far from over and the journey is not paved. I can never compare my own sacrifice to that of the Savior yet I can reflect on how He reacted to the pain. I don't know how or what is to come. I can't see the end but I can choose to follow the faithfulness of Jesus. He knew His father well enough to know that better times were coming. I know the same. Yesterday, I clearly heard that still small voice inside say to let go and rest during this time of the unknown. So, I rest. While my man searches for a job in the midst of this layoff, I stand in complete surrender. While the medical reasons for my pain and sickness go unanswered, I stand in complete surrender. While we struggle to raise a child who has multiple special need struggles, I stand in complete surrender. While I have receive the diagnosis that forces me to relinquish my fertility producting plans towards bearing a child after 16 years of infertility, I stand in complete surrender. 

Crumbled faith does not have to stay in a heap. Instead, it is being re-established. Miracles abound in the midst of faith-filled living. There is a solid purpose in faith and surrender. Hope is not lost. It is found. My words do not go void as they travel to the throne. I surrender it all because He is the one who loved me enough to surrender it all for me. Don't stay defeated in your seemingly defeated position in life. There is hope. 

If I can do this, so can you. Together, we stand with arms high and hearts abandoned to the One who gave it all.