The last year has been quite a journey for me. It was a season of rest, spiritual retreat and physical healing. February of 2014 began the rough road of new injury. I fell off the steps of a friend's house when leaving it one evening. The result was a broken foot, not just one place but three areas and a pulled tendon. Much of the year was about overcoming. In November, my knee gave away (again) while walking down stair at my house and I took another tumble. This was the point I gave in to the pending total knee replacement. It was looming over me since 2006.
Now, I'm in recovery mode. December 2014, I became Mrs. Titanium. The journey has been extremely difficult. Activity and adventure are part of life for me. Getting back to life without limits has taught me the importance of recognizing limitations and rest.
A new season is approaching. One with activity and adventure. Most importantly, it is a season of anointed progress. Stay tuned. The world is about to shift a little more Amber colored.
Always,
Amber
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Celebrating Limits
My healing journey requires limited days. A limited day for me is one like I had recently. Bravely, I faced the truth of struggles swirling around me. I made it from my pillow to my toothbrush. Grabbed a handful of tissues and my head went back to my pillow. On a day like it, I imagined the words many may lovingly say to me. Words like, turn to God's strength not your own or just surrender it all and you will feel better. I love the scriptures of truth that in Him we can soar like an eagle, run and not get weary; clearly knowing His strength is perfect; being certain that in Christ I can do all things....including celebrating my weakness.
2 Corinthians 13:5-9 says to test that you are strong in the faith. Don't take things for granted. The message version says, "give yourself regular checkups." Profoundly accurate the last section says, we don't just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength of the TRUTH in you. The truth is a war is raging against me. But, on my "limited days" the extravagant love of God sees me into the next day.
Certain times, we need a friend to bring over a box of tissues and pull up a trash can for our saturated snotty rags. Yet, vulnerability in itself is risky, limitless actually. It is a risk worth taking with ones tried and true. Lean on the few who "earn the right to hear your story" as Brene Brown speaks of in her profound writing.
Inhale/Exhale - one breathe at a time - one word prayers which echo back boundless love from heaven, some days like that are more intimate than hours on my knees with lots of words.
Limits - not a bad word at all. Quite opposite, it is the one things that may help mend that wounded soul. Restoration comes from living days where you rest, cry it out, call your confidant. Agreeable harmony with your spirit, soul, body, and the Creator creating limitless exhilaration.....
Celebrate limits! Be assured, you are not alone. Live within your limits. I love that I get to love you! xo
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Courageous Parents
"The Few. The Proud. The Marines." This is an impressive slogan for the brave Marine Corp. They protect our freedom. They are trained for combat. Marines are strong heroes. My heart is forever thankful for them. Courage is not only for the military. It is required in the life of a parent.
Dictionary.com says, Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.,without fear; bravery. I must admit, I'm not always courageous. Fear creeps up and slaps me in the face. Difficulty attempts to flag me down and hold me in bondage. Yet, because I journey Christ's freedom process my mind/spirit has developed a "quality" to overcome, fear does not win.
Parents have this unspoken responsibility of ensuring tiny creatures grow up to be courageous and positive forces in life. Simply put, parents are in a daily battle. This battle is not for the weak. It takes strength and love. Relying on self is a sure-fire way to fail in the parenting business. Without going to the very source of freedom, there is no way for victory. Freedom is found after facing the scariest areas inside ourselves.
Most people are still searching for daily release from their own downfalls. Add in the responsibility of battling for other life's at the same time. This combination will either be successful or a complete nightmare. It is like watching a movie where the lead actor is tied up to a tree and must help their love out of quicksand. Can it be done? Absolutely, it is Hollywood. The lead actor wiggles and wiggles until the chains miraculously fall from them and they rush to successfully rescue their greatest love just in the nick of time. What about the unscripted every day movie playing out in the life of parents and one of their greatest loves, their children? How can chains be broken so parenting difficulty is overcome? There is only one Great Magician. His magic is not illusion. He is the "Great, I am."
Parenting is not for the weak. We are weak in our own power. Simple realignment establishes bravery and courage. Ephesians 6:19-20, "And don’t forget to pray for me. Pray that I’ll know what to say and have the courage to say it at the right time, telling the mystery to one and all, the Message that I, jailbird preacher that I am, am responsible for getting out." Today, I am praying for all parents. You are protecting the heart and lives of your children. Teaching them to be brave warriors who are fighting darkness. You are a hero. Let your courage shine and break through your weariness. Turn to the greatest Warrior of all times. He is ready and waiting to help you.
The Free. The Courageous. The Parents.
Dictionary.com says, Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.,without fear; bravery. I must admit, I'm not always courageous. Fear creeps up and slaps me in the face. Difficulty attempts to flag me down and hold me in bondage. Yet, because I journey Christ's freedom process my mind/spirit has developed a "quality" to overcome, fear does not win.
Parents have this unspoken responsibility of ensuring tiny creatures grow up to be courageous and positive forces in life. Simply put, parents are in a daily battle. This battle is not for the weak. It takes strength and love. Relying on self is a sure-fire way to fail in the parenting business. Without going to the very source of freedom, there is no way for victory. Freedom is found after facing the scariest areas inside ourselves.
Most people are still searching for daily release from their own downfalls. Add in the responsibility of battling for other life's at the same time. This combination will either be successful or a complete nightmare. It is like watching a movie where the lead actor is tied up to a tree and must help their love out of quicksand. Can it be done? Absolutely, it is Hollywood. The lead actor wiggles and wiggles until the chains miraculously fall from them and they rush to successfully rescue their greatest love just in the nick of time. What about the unscripted every day movie playing out in the life of parents and one of their greatest loves, their children? How can chains be broken so parenting difficulty is overcome? There is only one Great Magician. His magic is not illusion. He is the "Great, I am."
Parenting is not for the weak. We are weak in our own power. Simple realignment establishes bravery and courage. Ephesians 6:19-20, "And don’t forget to pray for me. Pray that I’ll know what to say and have the courage to say it at the right time, telling the mystery to one and all, the Message that I, jailbird preacher that I am, am responsible for getting out." Today, I am praying for all parents. You are protecting the heart and lives of your children. Teaching them to be brave warriors who are fighting darkness. You are a hero. Let your courage shine and break through your weariness. Turn to the greatest Warrior of all times. He is ready and waiting to help you.
The Free. The Courageous. The Parents.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mother's Day Reflection
 |
| Welsh Family 2012 |
Mother's Day has not always been a day of celebration for me. 8
years passed and every Mother's Day I cried. I sobbed tears of heartbreak
and prayers begging for my desire to be fulfilled. Infertility can make Mother's Day painstaking for many. The journey is part of the beauty of where I am today. You see, motherhood comes different for some. Now I am a "mother" to many.
11 years ago I became Mom to 8 different little ones who walked into my house and then back out through foster care. 10 years ago, 2
bundles knocked at my door and stayed through adoption. 5 years ago, 2 more little lives walked into
my life and stayed through marriage.
Over the last 3 years, I've taken into my heart 3 beautiful daughter's to sponsor from Malawi, Africa and 2 remain under my financial; prayer care. A year ago, I ministered at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and now get to watch the life of 1 bundle of joy whose mama choose to bring him into this world because of God's words through me. 
Each child impacts me in a different way. I impact each child in a different capacity. The impact is the same....
Motherhood
This Mother's Day, I cry again. My life is full, overflowing with activity, sacrifice, prayers, guidance, laughter, tears, and consistent discipleship of many.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Surrendering to Rest
Exhausted, fallen yet hope-filled and faithful is the Biblical image of Jesus on the cross. He was hope-filled because His mind was set on the things above. He was faithful because He knew His father well enough to be certain that better times were coming. His sacrifice was worth the pain. Here I sit reflecting on my sacrifice. Since
before I left for Africa in July I see the writing. My own words scribbled in my journal,
"Father, I surrender my will, my plans, my hopes, my desires, and
everything I want to you." What I have seen happen is to have all the
things I believed in from a natural standpoint striped away. It's caused
my heart to waiver, my faith to crumble, but through it all I
surrender to His plan for me. The plan of the Creator can't always be
understood by human eyes and my over active mind which loves to plan it
all out.
The journey is my journey because I was bold enough to take a moment to give it all up. I was brave enough to relinquish my own desires. The road is far from over and the journey is not paved. I can never compare my own sacrifice to that of the Savior yet I can reflect on how He reacted to the pain. I don't know how or what is to come. I can't see the end but I can choose to follow the faithfulness of Jesus. He knew His father well enough to know that better times were coming. I know the same. Yesterday, I clearly heard that still small voice inside say to let go and rest during this time of the unknown. So, I rest. While my man searches for a job in the midst of this layoff, I stand in complete surrender. While the medical reasons for my pain and sickness go unanswered, I stand in complete surrender. While we struggle to raise a child who has multiple special need struggles, I stand in complete surrender. While I have receive the diagnosis that forces me to relinquish my fertility producting plans towards bearing a child after 16 years of infertility, I stand in complete surrender.
Crumbled faith does not have to stay in a heap. Instead, it is being re-established. Miracles abound in the midst of faith-filled living. There is a solid purpose in faith and surrender. Hope is not lost. It is found. My words do not go void as they travel to the throne. I surrender it all because He is the one who loved me enough to surrender it all for me. Don't stay defeated in your seemingly defeated position in life. There is hope.
If I can do this, so can you. Together, we stand with arms high and hearts abandoned to the One who gave it all.
The journey is my journey because I was bold enough to take a moment to give it all up. I was brave enough to relinquish my own desires. The road is far from over and the journey is not paved. I can never compare my own sacrifice to that of the Savior yet I can reflect on how He reacted to the pain. I don't know how or what is to come. I can't see the end but I can choose to follow the faithfulness of Jesus. He knew His father well enough to know that better times were coming. I know the same. Yesterday, I clearly heard that still small voice inside say to let go and rest during this time of the unknown. So, I rest. While my man searches for a job in the midst of this layoff, I stand in complete surrender. While the medical reasons for my pain and sickness go unanswered, I stand in complete surrender. While we struggle to raise a child who has multiple special need struggles, I stand in complete surrender. While I have receive the diagnosis that forces me to relinquish my fertility producting plans towards bearing a child after 16 years of infertility, I stand in complete surrender.
Crumbled faith does not have to stay in a heap. Instead, it is being re-established. Miracles abound in the midst of faith-filled living. There is a solid purpose in faith and surrender. Hope is not lost. It is found. My words do not go void as they travel to the throne. I surrender it all because He is the one who loved me enough to surrender it all for me. Don't stay defeated in your seemingly defeated position in life. There is hope.
If I can do this, so can you. Together, we stand with arms high and hearts abandoned to the One who gave it all.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
God-Focus! It Does Your Spirit Good ~ Pass it on!
"Today, I'm choosing obedience. Have been neglecting to follow through in some areas I have been called to do so I surrender!" This is the post I put out on my twitter page today. I put it out there as I took a break from doing one of the very things I was suppose to follow through with doing....Ironically, I realized at that moment that the only person who makes the choices for what gets accomplished in my life is ME!
Several months ago, I was seeking God in my journal. This was over a year ago in fact. I was asking what to do next. On the tear-stained pages, I had written that I was suppose to write a letter to two leaders in Christian Women's Ministry that I look up to in this area. I did not do it at that time because I thought, honestly, will they really ever read it? They are big wigs in the industry who have much more important things to focus on than taking any time for um...me. You know what God said to me about that? He said the only thing I care about is your obedience. Leave everything else alone. Hmmm, but I really think I know some stuff and I really like to have control. I saw how silly my lack of God-Focus is in life. Hello Amber, He is the Great I Am! This means that He not only created the universe and my Father actually ordered it into place but He keeps it all going. When I grasp the fullness of that I realized that my "stuff" and "control" and choices to do what I want to do really are not just silly but foolish.
The key thing I'm learning during this time in my life is that my plans are not bad. My talents and skills are strong and good but surrendering who I am to what He wants me to do is WAY better. Just because we are really good at something does not mean it is what we are suppose to do in life. The key is for each of us to embrace our place. Everyone that knows me very well knows that I'm huge on promoting that people need to follow their dreams and seek with all their heart those things that make them click. Not doing what we are really good at doesn't mean we don't follow our dreams. I think, it simply means that we move forward and do today those things we have to do, even though it may seem like it is off the course of our dreams.
I love the saying that says if the shoe fits wear it. But, in light of God-Focused living and setting our GPS (God Positioning System) towards heaven we might need to go shopping at a different store for shoes. I love wearing shiny, sparkly, high heels but lately I have been wearing my flip flops a lot. They both fit and both are getting me to where I need to be going. Although, I will not, and a major pet peeve of mine is, wear flip flops and a fancy dress or heels and athletic shorts. The key is balancing the right shoes with the right outfit. In life it is the same thing. It is about balancing our time with the right path. Honestly, it does your spirit man good. That is why I'm passing it on to you today. I feel like a million now that I wrote the letters, stamped the envelopes and actually put them in the mail. It isn't about a response or what happens but rather about my obedience.
The more we focus on the right plan for our lives and still embrace our dreams the closer we will get to the right fit for our lives. Go shoe shopping with me! No matter what kind you choose be sure they are the best look for your outfit and that you are following the G.P.S. to get to where you need to go! I am eXtraordinary! You are eXtraordinary! Let's focus and have obedience like it!
Several months ago, I was seeking God in my journal. This was over a year ago in fact. I was asking what to do next. On the tear-stained pages, I had written that I was suppose to write a letter to two leaders in Christian Women's Ministry that I look up to in this area. I did not do it at that time because I thought, honestly, will they really ever read it? They are big wigs in the industry who have much more important things to focus on than taking any time for um...me. You know what God said to me about that? He said the only thing I care about is your obedience. Leave everything else alone. Hmmm, but I really think I know some stuff and I really like to have control. I saw how silly my lack of God-Focus is in life. Hello Amber, He is the Great I Am! This means that He not only created the universe and my Father actually ordered it into place but He keeps it all going. When I grasp the fullness of that I realized that my "stuff" and "control" and choices to do what I want to do really are not just silly but foolish.
The key thing I'm learning during this time in my life is that my plans are not bad. My talents and skills are strong and good but surrendering who I am to what He wants me to do is WAY better. Just because we are really good at something does not mean it is what we are suppose to do in life. The key is for each of us to embrace our place. Everyone that knows me very well knows that I'm huge on promoting that people need to follow their dreams and seek with all their heart those things that make them click. Not doing what we are really good at doesn't mean we don't follow our dreams. I think, it simply means that we move forward and do today those things we have to do, even though it may seem like it is off the course of our dreams.
I love the saying that says if the shoe fits wear it. But, in light of God-Focused living and setting our GPS (God Positioning System) towards heaven we might need to go shopping at a different store for shoes. I love wearing shiny, sparkly, high heels but lately I have been wearing my flip flops a lot. They both fit and both are getting me to where I need to be going. Although, I will not, and a major pet peeve of mine is, wear flip flops and a fancy dress or heels and athletic shorts. The key is balancing the right shoes with the right outfit. In life it is the same thing. It is about balancing our time with the right path. Honestly, it does your spirit man good. That is why I'm passing it on to you today. I feel like a million now that I wrote the letters, stamped the envelopes and actually put them in the mail. It isn't about a response or what happens but rather about my obedience.
The more we focus on the right plan for our lives and still embrace our dreams the closer we will get to the right fit for our lives. Go shoe shopping with me! No matter what kind you choose be sure they are the best look for your outfit and that you are following the G.P.S. to get to where you need to go! I am eXtraordinary! You are eXtraordinary! Let's focus and have obedience like it!
Friday, September 2, 2011
You Are Chosen! Embrace it!
It has been a while since I have blogged. It hasn't been accidental but purposeful. I have been in a place of learning and growth. Father has been teaching me the principal of sowing and reaping, listening and then doing, and the importance of living authentic to who you are created to be in life. This journey has been filled with joy unspeakable at times and moments of running up against walls that hurt at other times. I'm going to begin sharing with you the journey and encouraging you with what He has and is teaching me.
Last night, I had one of those moment. The one like I was just mentioning of running up against the wall. I am here to tell you that when you hit a wall and your running it leaves bruises. Now the great thing is that bruises will heal. The more healthy you are the quicker the healing over those painful areas will come. The interesting thing is that last night, the wall impact really did cause some tears. I cried for a long time and the realization of what I need to do to recover began to unfold as I became aware of the injuries sustained. The thing was this impact was actually because I turned the wrong direction and was trying to figure out my way without my GPS (God Positioning System). You see, I LOVE, hear me now, I LOVE acting! It is who I am to the core. I love every aspect of feeling, being, interpreting, and encompassing the character I'm playing. So, I had figured out a way for God to use me in this passion of mine. I was going to be in the Christmas production at my church. Now, while this seems like a great and honorable thing to do it was my own plan. I'm reminded that every time in the Bible that Peter figured out what was best to do to accomplish God's will it resulted in pain. Remember when he cut off the guys ear in rage? Yep, that was sure to cause some pain. Well, thankfully, my plan was halted. Although, last night, it didn't seem all that great. I went to church to attend the planning meeting and found out that auditions had happened the last two weeks and were closed and I missed out. Now to someone people they would not see that is as that big of deal but keep in mind I want to act and have felt like God is telling me to focus on Him this summer instead of pouring my time into auditions. For auditions to be closed it means I can't be in the production and even worse, I can't be used by God in the way I had planned (insert foot in mouth) "the way I had planned". - Um, yeah, not my plans by thine be done Lord....ok, lesson learned the hard way.
So, this morning God spoke into me during my quiet time and said, "Hey, Amber, you are chosen, remember? I chose you to do my work. I don't need you to do it or need you in ministry. I chose you to work along side me and be used in my ministry. Seek me and I will make you a fisher of men. Wow! I thought I was doing exactly what would allow me to fulfill my dream and His all at the same time. Reality check, His plan and ways is always more fulfilling and I need to seek His direction rather than attempting to plan it out for Him.
I hope you can learn from my humble sharing of how I hit the wall yesterday. Thankfully, I am spending time with Him and seeking a clear perspective on where He wants me in life. If not, the bruises may have taken longer to heal but, thankfully, the marks vanished this morning as I lined myself up with seeking His plan not my own. I can't wait to be used in the realm of my passions but in His way and His timing it will be a lot better!
Encouraging you today to know your chosen. There is a plan for you life. Seek Him and He will do an amazing work in you. Shalom!
Last night, I had one of those moment. The one like I was just mentioning of running up against the wall. I am here to tell you that when you hit a wall and your running it leaves bruises. Now the great thing is that bruises will heal. The more healthy you are the quicker the healing over those painful areas will come. The interesting thing is that last night, the wall impact really did cause some tears. I cried for a long time and the realization of what I need to do to recover began to unfold as I became aware of the injuries sustained. The thing was this impact was actually because I turned the wrong direction and was trying to figure out my way without my GPS (God Positioning System). You see, I LOVE, hear me now, I LOVE acting! It is who I am to the core. I love every aspect of feeling, being, interpreting, and encompassing the character I'm playing. So, I had figured out a way for God to use me in this passion of mine. I was going to be in the Christmas production at my church. Now, while this seems like a great and honorable thing to do it was my own plan. I'm reminded that every time in the Bible that Peter figured out what was best to do to accomplish God's will it resulted in pain. Remember when he cut off the guys ear in rage? Yep, that was sure to cause some pain. Well, thankfully, my plan was halted. Although, last night, it didn't seem all that great. I went to church to attend the planning meeting and found out that auditions had happened the last two weeks and were closed and I missed out. Now to someone people they would not see that is as that big of deal but keep in mind I want to act and have felt like God is telling me to focus on Him this summer instead of pouring my time into auditions. For auditions to be closed it means I can't be in the production and even worse, I can't be used by God in the way I had planned (insert foot in mouth) "the way I had planned". - Um, yeah, not my plans by thine be done Lord....ok, lesson learned the hard way.
So, this morning God spoke into me during my quiet time and said, "Hey, Amber, you are chosen, remember? I chose you to do my work. I don't need you to do it or need you in ministry. I chose you to work along side me and be used in my ministry. Seek me and I will make you a fisher of men. Wow! I thought I was doing exactly what would allow me to fulfill my dream and His all at the same time. Reality check, His plan and ways is always more fulfilling and I need to seek His direction rather than attempting to plan it out for Him.
I hope you can learn from my humble sharing of how I hit the wall yesterday. Thankfully, I am spending time with Him and seeking a clear perspective on where He wants me in life. If not, the bruises may have taken longer to heal but, thankfully, the marks vanished this morning as I lined myself up with seeking His plan not my own. I can't wait to be used in the realm of my passions but in His way and His timing it will be a lot better!
Encouraging you today to know your chosen. There is a plan for you life. Seek Him and He will do an amazing work in you. Shalom!
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