The 25 Year Journey

Isaac's name meaning is "he will laugh". It reflects the laughter, in disbelief, of Abraham and Sarah, when told by God that they would have their chosen child. They were given a promise. 25 years later, in “old age” God fulfilled the greatest desire of precious Sarah’s heart. Laughter does the heart good, like medicine to the grief of delayed desires and broken dreams. Isaac was the perfect name to highlight the beautiful faithfulness and joyous laughter the seemingly “impossible” can bring.

I remember receiving my first word from God about my future child(ren). I have it marked in my Bible. Jeremiah 31:17 on 10/16/98, “And there is hope for you future, declares the Lord, and your children will return to their own territory.” I had waited since I was a youthful 9 years old to hear a word from my Heavenly Father specifically promising me a child. At 9, I began dreaming of the name I would call my daughter. In high school, my life-long best friend got pregnant when we were around 16. I was so envious. A BABY. My heart’s greatest desire. I was overjoyed that I got to be in the delivery room with her when she delivered him. What a joyful day! I began dreaming of my baby to come. I was going to name her Destiny Jane! If it was a boy, he would be Trevor James! I was ready to hurry through high school, find the love of my life (a pastor), get married, have a baseball team of kids. I would homeschool them and raise them up in the Lord to be shining examples of His love. It was all planned out “in my mind”.

At 19, I was swept off my feet by “prince charming”. He knew my heart was ministry and to marry a pastor. He told me he was called to be a pastor. Everything he did was gentlemanly. On our first meeting with my parents, he pulled my mom’s chair out for her. He stood up when the ladies left to go to the bathroom. Everything was perfect (too good to be true). I just KNEW we were going to immediately begin our family and soon have a quiver full of blessings! I surrendered my virginity and awaited the story of my dreams. Children who would give me grandchildren and 60 years later I would rejoice with my great and great great grandchildren. Oh, the generational blessing I dreamed of and planned out! 13 years later, the fairytale ended. Nothing ended up being as it seemed. He was not called to the ministry, he angrily told me he just said it because he knew that was what I wanted. He was not honest with me about the core values I looked for in the man I married, and I discovered that 7 years into our covenant. This was phase 1 of my infertility journey.

Grief (great sorrow) is a noun I am intimately acquainted with in life. The beautiful thing about grief is that it is not linear. Sorrow might last in the night but joy comes with the morning. Even in the deepest of pain there is the ability to have linear happiness and rejoicing. In Phase 1, I faced multiple levels of fairytale endings and the stark reality that life is not easily maneuvered.

Phase 1 - 13 years

1st marriage didn’t survive the struggles. Surgeries for cyst masses, endometriosis diagnosis, more surgery, fertility treatments, PCOS diagnosis, fertility clinics, Clomid, HSG injections, Lupron to get rid of endometriosis, more surgery, insemination and finally zero pregnancies and divorced at 32. Infertility was my reality but in the midst of the journey, I was honored to be given 2 children through the foster/adopt process with my 1^st husband. He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord! (Psalm 113:9). And, last year, in 2019 I was in Africa doing mission work. While there, my son went to live with his biological mom. My heart was ripped from my chest and I realized that promise in Jeremiah says, “your children will return to their own territory”. My original promise was fulfilled. I faithfully honored the beauty of the journey God had for me.

Phase 2 - 11 1/2 years since 2008

I was given the gift of meeting an insanely handsome, godly and generous man. A true man of God who has been transparent with me since day one. Knowing and doing life with him confirmed to me that fairytales can come true. I was blessed with remarriage to the love of my life at 33! In the midst of a blended family of 4 children, raising 2 unique special needs arrows, and getting to know each other better – we took a break for a year from TTC (Trying to Conceive). I just knew, with the love of my life (who already had 2 natural born blessings), God would finally give me my promise. April 2013, I was in a healing service one night at church, called Habitation. After the service a lady (who I never saw before and have never seen again) brought me the letter laying right now beside me in my open bible. It has Isaiah 43 typed out and she wrote in it that God doesn’t do things in traditional ways. That suddenlies will happen for me and signs and wonders are coming my way. She told me when she handed it to me that she saw a lady rocking a baby when she wrote it as God downloaded the message. She saw me and knew during service she was supposed to give it to me.

Yet, no pregnancies after 5 years. So, in the fall of 2013, we braved the waters of seeing the Infertility Doctor. He gruffly said there was zero chance for IVF without my having an egg donor. And, I have very little chance of ever having a pregnancy unless a miracle happened. We walked away knowing BUT GOD but realizing we are not in control of His will!

Abraham and Sarah - The Couple Who Believed God for The Impossible. Over the last couple of years, I gave up. I’ve spent many nights in tears asking God why my heart isn’t releasing the desire to give birth. Wrestling with God’s perfect plan and will. I’m 45 and our kids are 16-22. We even have a grandbaby now. So, surely, my time is up and I should close the door to the greatest desire of my heart. Yet, I was reminded that God is not cruel, and He is faithful to deliver. He promises to give us the desire of our heart if we trust in Him. Habakkuk 2:3 says, “At the time I have decided, my words will come true. You can trust what I say about the future. It may take a long time but keep on waiting— it will happen!” So, with some of the delays and the realignment of meeting my true love, I have been around 24 years TTC. I guess that means I’m still a year shy of Sarah; therefore, now with renewal of desire we stand in faith and wait. Because, God is a God of the IMPOSSIBLE and even with -.01% of a chance of conception…..He is the God of miracles! No matter what the years ahead bring, I know He is loyal, and His plan is perfect!

My Journey of Healing

**My Journey of Healing**

I have to share with you what happened to me on Friday (1/29/16). So, I've been majorly working on practicing faith this week. I started claiming and speaking healing verses more than ever, because with all my infertility stuff (20 years), I have struggled with believing healing would happen to me.....everyone else... but not me, I thought. Yet, after a full month of struggling intensely with having a blood clot (deep vein thrombosis & superficial clots) in my right arm and chest and knowing I could face a pulmonary embolism, I dropped to my knees and have stood in re-newed faith. Read on for what is happening! 

Friday, I kept getting delayed with the Vascular Surgeon's office scheduling my pre-op to have it complete for Monday. Next thing you know, I got a call at 12:30 and the doc can't find a local hospital in this area (that she is certified for) that has nursing staff feeling trained and adequate to care for me in ICU for this procedure (Huge red flag). She tells us she is going to do it in Decatur, Texas, so go by 2pm. It's 30-45 minutes away from Fort Worth and our area. Strange but ok. Pulling up I kept saying, yikes this feels weird. The scheduler was explaining the intense risks (internal or external bleeding, immediate embolism, etc). But, hey, I'm so ready to be 100%, and the surgeon explained why it was critically important to do it ASAP on Thursday. I am willing to risk it to avoid the risk with the clot. Unexpectedly, the doc called us at 3pm when we were at the pre-op appointment and wanted to see me in person as soon as I was done. 

I went to her office and she said that after consulting some other doctors she wanted to see me before proceeding with the procedure next week. She consulted with 5 other doctors and they were split on if it was safe for me. 4 of 6 said it was a bad idea to do it to an otherwise healthy young lady. She said she knew she needed to see me to decide. In the midst of it all, I hadn't even realized my arm wasn't even 3/4 as swollen and is almost the same size as my other arm. And my pain slowly has been diminishing since Monday. Only 4 days ago - after weeks of intensity....healing! I am so much improved since Monday when she first met me that she said she is canceling the procedure.

It really is incredible! I've been beyond amazed. I didn't know how to feel when she cancelled, but realized over the last 24 hours. It's the prayers unraveling before my eyes!!!!! All week I've been saying I believed the blood of Jesus was going to supernaturally flow through my veins and dissolve the clot and I will experience radical healing. I've prayed for it to amaze doctors and drop prayer warriors to their knees in praise at how supernatural healing is seen in person! I keep saying this verse this week! “Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.”
Matthew 21:21 NIV. It's thrilling to be in this process and see it manifesting. And can you imagine the testimony of this in days to come. So exciting!

Dignified Beauty

Stories of perceived bravery, courage, freedom, truth-seeking, beauty, perceptions and strength have headlined this year. I decided to search the Bible for some answers. What determines feminine beauty? 

Proverbs 31. The word dignity caught my eye. I became enthralled with the complexity of this word. "She is clothed in strength & dignity and laughs at days to come." 25

Dignity – Strong’s Dictionary 1926 – magnificence, that is, ornament or splendor: beauty, comeliness, excellency, glorious, glory, goodly, honor, majesty.

Strong's shows the Greek word for dignity encompasses a woman who carries herself with amazing confidence and has no need for recognition for who she is or what she does. You see, this treasured-vessel strives for excellence, only answering to her King. She has no need to look around (seeking attention) because majesty radiates from her inmost being.

Scripture describes what "bravery, courage, freedom, truth-seeking, beauty, perceptions, & strength" was originated to look like in society. It's the opposite of what media pushes for it to be in today's perception. It is dignity. Refined living radiating a dignified beauty.

I've decided to continue striving towards strength & dignity the Proverbs 31 way. Laughing at the silliness of "days to come" which try to distract me from the ultimate purpose. Laughing because those days hold no power or comparison to the places overcome in past days. Never doubting the Bible is the ultimate truth and foundation for beauty. I'm calling out for you to come with me (down the road less travelled) into a dignified beauty way of life.

What determines beauty for you? I found my answer.

Mrs. Titanium

The last year has been quite a journey for me. It was a season of rest, spiritual retreat and physical healing. February of 2014 began the rough road of new injury. I fell off the steps of a friend's house when leaving it one evening. The result was a broken foot, not just one place but three areas and a pulled tendon. Much of the year was about overcoming. In November, my knee gave away (again) while walking down stair at my house and I took another tumble. This was the point I gave in to the pending total knee replacement. It was looming over me since 2006.

Now, I'm in recovery mode. December 2014, I became Mrs. Titanium. The journey has been extremely difficult. Activity and adventure are part of life for me. Getting back to life without limits has taught me the importance of recognizing limitations and rest.

A new season is approaching. One with activity and adventure. Most importantly, it is a season of anointed progress. Stay tuned. The world is about to shift a little more Amber colored.

Always,
Amber

Celebrating Limits

Limitless living. What an exhilarating thought. Standing in a place where nothing or no-one can stop you from every single thing you want in life. Dare devil activities would be the norm with no consequences. Yet, in fact, getting out of bed is risky. Choosing to face life with all the obstacles requires risk.

My healing journey requires limited days. A limited day for me is one like I had recently. Bravely, I faced the truth of struggles swirling around me. I made it from my pillow to my toothbrush. Grabbed a handful of tissues and my head went back to my pillow. On a day like it, I imagined the words many may lovingly say to me. Words like, turn to God's strength not your own or just surrender it all and you will feel better. I love the scriptures of truth that in Him we can soar like an eagle, run and not get weary; clearly knowing His strength is perfect; being certain that in Christ I can do all things....including celebrating my weakness.

2 Corinthians 13:5-9 says to test that you are strong in the faith. Don't take things for granted. The message version says, "give yourself regular checkups." Profoundly accurate the last section says, we don't just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength of the TRUTH in you. The truth is a war is raging against me. But, on my "limited days" the extravagant love of God sees me into the next day.

Certain times, we need a friend to bring over a box of tissues and pull up a trash can for our saturated snotty rags. Yet, vulnerability in itself is risky, limitless actually. It is a risk worth taking with ones tried and true. Lean on the few who "earn the right to hear your story" as Brene Brown speaks of in her profound writing.

Inhale/Exhale - one breathe at a time - one word prayers which echo back boundless love from heaven, some days like that are more intimate than hours on my knees with lots of words. 

Limits - not a bad word at all. Quite opposite, it is the one things that may help mend that wounded soul. Restoration comes from living days where you rest, cry it out, call your confidant. Agreeable harmony with your spirit, soul, body, and the Creator creating limitless exhilaration.....

Celebrate limits! Be assured, you are not alone. Live within your limits. I love that I get to love you! xo

Courageous Parents

"The Few. The Proud. The Marines." This is an impressive slogan for the brave Marine Corp. They protect our freedom. They are trained for combat. Marines are strong heroes. My heart is forever thankful for them. Courage is not only for the military. It is required in the life of a parent.

Dictionary.com says, Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.,without fear; bravery. I must admit, I'm not always courageous. Fear creeps up and slaps me in the face. Difficulty attempts to flag me down and hold me in bondage. Yet, because I journey Christ's freedom process my mind/spirit has developed a "quality" to overcome, fear does not win. 

Parents have this unspoken responsibility of ensuring tiny creatures grow up to be courageous and positive forces in life. Simply put, parents are in a daily battle. This battle is not for the weak. It takes strength and love. Relying on self is a sure-fire way to fail in the parenting business. Without going to the very source of freedom, there is no way for victory. Freedom is found after facing the scariest areas inside ourselves. 

Most people are still searching for daily release from their own downfalls. Add in the responsibility of battling for other life's at the same time. This combination will either be successful or a complete nightmare. It is like watching a movie where the lead actor is tied up to a tree and must help their love out of quicksand. Can it be done? Absolutely, it is Hollywood. The lead actor wiggles and wiggles until the chains miraculously fall from them and they rush to successfully rescue their greatest love just in the nick of time. What about the unscripted every day movie playing out in the life of parents and one of their greatest loves, their children? How can chains be broken so parenting difficulty is overcome? There is only one Great Magician. His magic is not illusion. He is the "Great, I am." 

Parenting is not for the weak. We are weak in our own power. Simple realignment establishes bravery and courage. Ephesians 6:19-20, "And don’t forget to pray for me. Pray that I’ll know what to say and have the courage to say it at the right time, telling the mystery to one and all, the Message that I, jailbird preacher that I am, am responsible for getting out." Today, I am praying for all parents. You are protecting the heart and lives of your children. Teaching them to be brave warriors who are fighting darkness. You are a hero. Let your courage shine and break through your weariness. Turn to the greatest Warrior of all times. He is ready and waiting to help you.  

The Free. The Courageous. The Parents. 

  

Mother's Day Reflection

Welsh Family 2012

Mother's Day has not always been a day of celebration for me. 8 years passed and every Mother's Day I cried. I sobbed tears of heartbreak and prayers begging for my desire to be fulfilled. Infertility can make Mother's Day painstaking for many. The journey is part of the beauty of where I am today. You see, motherhood comes different for some. Now I am a "mother" to many.  

11 years ago I became Mom to 8 different little ones who walked into my house and then back out through foster care. 10 years ago, 2 bundles knocked at my door and stayed through adoption. 5 years ago, 2 more little lives walked into my life and stayed through marriage. 

Over the last 3 years, I've taken into my heart 3 beautiful daughter's to sponsor from Malawi, Africa and 2 remain under my financial; prayer care.  A year ago, I ministered at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and now get to watch the life of 1 bundle of joy whose mama choose to bring him into this world because of God's words through me.  

 

Each child impacts me in a different way. I impact each child in a different capacity. The impact is the same....
 

 


Motherhood

This Mother's Day, I cry again. My life is full, overflowing with activity, sacrifice, prayers, guidance, laughter, tears, and consistent discipleship of many. 

Surrendering to Rest

Exhausted, fallen yet hope-filled and faithful is the Biblical image of Jesus on the cross. He was hope-filled because His mind was set on the things above. He was faithful because He knew His father well enough to be certain that better times were coming. His sacrifice was worth the pain. Here I sit reflecting on my sacrifice. Since before I left for Africa in July I see the writing. My own words scribbled in my journal, "Father, I surrender my will, my plans, my hopes, my desires, and everything I want to you." What I have seen happen is to have all the things I believed in from a natural standpoint striped away. It's caused my heart to waiver, my faith to crumble, but through it all I surrender to His plan for me. The plan of the Creator can't always be understood by human eyes and my over active mind which loves to plan it all out. 

The journey is my journey because I was bold enough to take a moment to give it all up. I was brave enough to relinquish my own desires. The road is far from over and the journey is not paved. I can never compare my own sacrifice to that of the Savior yet I can reflect on how He reacted to the pain. I don't know how or what is to come. I can't see the end but I can choose to follow the faithfulness of Jesus. He knew His father well enough to know that better times were coming. I know the same. Yesterday, I clearly heard that still small voice inside say to let go and rest during this time of the unknown. So, I rest. While my man searches for a job in the midst of this layoff, I stand in complete surrender. While the medical reasons for my pain and sickness go unanswered, I stand in complete surrender. While we struggle to raise a child who has multiple special need struggles, I stand in complete surrender. While I have receive the diagnosis that forces me to relinquish my fertility producting plans towards bearing a child after 16 years of infertility, I stand in complete surrender. 

Crumbled faith does not have to stay in a heap. Instead, it is being re-established. Miracles abound in the midst of faith-filled living. There is a solid purpose in faith and surrender. Hope is not lost. It is found. My words do not go void as they travel to the throne. I surrender it all because He is the one who loved me enough to surrender it all for me. Don't stay defeated in your seemingly defeated position in life. There is hope. 

If I can do this, so can you. Together, we stand with arms high and hearts abandoned to the One who gave it all. 

 

God-Focus! It Does Your Spirit Good ~ Pass it on!

"Today, I'm choosing obedience. Have been neglecting to follow through in some areas I have been called to do so I surrender!" This is the post I put out on my twitter page today. I put it out there as I took a break from doing one of the very things I was suppose to follow through with doing....Ironically, I realized at that moment that the only person who makes the choices for what gets accomplished in my life is ME!

Several months ago, I was seeking God in my journal. This was over a year ago in fact. I was asking what to do next. On the tear-stained pages, I had written that I was suppose to write a letter to two leaders in Christian Women's Ministry that I look up to in this area. I did not do it at that time because I thought, honestly, will they really ever read it? They are big wigs in the industry who have much more important things to focus on than taking any time for um...me. You know what God said to me about that? He said the only thing I care about is your obedience. Leave everything else alone. Hmmm, but I really think I know some stuff and I really like to have control. I saw how silly my lack of God-Focus is in life. Hello Amber, He is the Great I Am! This means that He not only created the universe and my Father actually ordered it into place but He keeps it all going. When I grasp the fullness of that I realized that my "stuff" and "control" and choices to do what I want to do really are not just silly but foolish.

The key thing I'm learning during this time in my life is that my plans are not bad. My talents and skills are strong and good but surrendering who I am to what He wants me to do is WAY better. Just because we are really good at something does not mean it is what we are suppose to do in life. The key is for each of us to embrace our place. Everyone that knows me very well knows that I'm huge on promoting that people need to follow their dreams and seek with all their heart those things that make them click. Not doing what we are really good at doesn't mean we don't follow our dreams. I think, it simply means that we move forward and do today those things we have to do, even though it may seem like it is off the course of our dreams.

I love the saying that says if the shoe fits wear it. But, in light of God-Focused living and setting our GPS (God Positioning System) towards heaven we might need to go shopping at a different store for shoes. I love wearing shiny, sparkly, high heels but lately I have been wearing my flip flops a lot. They both fit and both are getting me to where I need to be going. Although, I will not, and a major pet peeve of mine is, wear flip flops and a fancy dress or heels and athletic shorts. The key is balancing the right shoes with the right outfit. In life it is the same thing. It is about balancing our time with the right path. Honestly, it does your spirit man good. That is why I'm passing it on to you today. I feel like a million now that I wrote the letters, stamped the envelopes and actually put them in the mail. It isn't about a response or what happens but rather about my obedience.

The more we focus on the right plan for our lives and still embrace our dreams the closer we will get to the right fit for our lives. Go shoe shopping with me! No matter what kind you choose be sure they are the best look for your outfit and that you are following the G.P.S. to get to where you need to go! I am eXtraordinary! You are eXtraordinary! Let's focus and have obedience like it!

You Are Chosen! Embrace it!

It has been a while since I have blogged. It hasn't been accidental but purposeful. I have been in a place of learning and growth. Father has been teaching me the principal of sowing and reaping, listening and then doing, and the importance of living authentic to who you are created to be in life. This journey has been filled with joy unspeakable at times and moments of running up against walls that hurt at other times. I'm going to begin sharing with you the journey and encouraging you with what He has and is teaching me.

Last night, I had one of those moment. The one like I was just mentioning of running up against the wall. I am here to tell you that when you hit a wall and your running it leaves bruises. Now the great thing is that bruises will heal. The more healthy you are the quicker the healing over those painful areas will come. The interesting thing is that last night, the wall impact really did cause some tears. I cried for a long time and the realization of what I need to do to recover began to unfold as I became aware of the injuries sustained. The thing was this impact was actually because I turned the wrong direction and was trying to figure out my way without my GPS (God Positioning System). You see, I LOVE, hear me now, I LOVE acting! It is who I am to the core. I love every aspect of feeling, being, interpreting, and encompassing the character I'm playing. So, I had figured out a way for God to use me in this passion of mine. I was going to be in the Christmas production at my church. Now, while this seems like a great and honorable thing to do it was my own plan. I'm reminded that every time in the Bible that Peter figured out what was best to do to accomplish God's will it resulted in pain. Remember when he cut off the guys ear in rage? Yep, that was sure to cause some pain. Well, thankfully, my plan was halted. Although, last night, it didn't seem all that great. I went to church to attend the planning meeting and found out that auditions had happened the last two weeks and were closed and I missed out. Now to someone people they would not see that is as that big of deal but keep in mind I want to act and have felt like God is telling me to focus on Him this summer instead of pouring my time into auditions. For auditions to be closed it means I can't be in the production and even worse, I can't be used by God in the way I had planned (insert foot in mouth) "the way I had planned". - Um, yeah, not my plans by thine be done Lord....ok, lesson learned the hard way.

So, this morning God spoke into me during my quiet time and said, "Hey, Amber, you are chosen, remember? I chose you to do my work. I don't need you to do it or need you in ministry. I chose you to work along side me and be used in my ministry. Seek me and I will make you a fisher of men. Wow! I thought I was doing exactly what would allow me to fulfill my dream and His all at the same time. Reality check, His plan and ways is always more fulfilling and I need to seek His direction rather than attempting to plan it out for Him.

I hope you can learn from my humble sharing of how I hit the wall yesterday. Thankfully, I am spending time with Him and seeking a clear perspective on where He wants me in life. If not, the bruises may have taken longer to heal but, thankfully, the marks vanished this morning as I lined myself up with seeking His plan not my own. I can't wait to be used in the realm of my passions but in His way and His timing it will be a lot better!

Encouraging you today to know your chosen. There is a plan for you life. Seek Him and He will do an amazing work in you. Shalom!

Hope House Orphan Care

Faisoni Chimcheua at Hope House 3 - One of the many faces of Malawi's Hope House Orphan. The eyes are a reminder of the pain and need encountered by the precious children helped by sponsors. You can sponsor a child for only $20 per month. http://www.hopehouseorphancare.com/Sponsorship.html

I Believe in Miracles ~

Audrey Hepburn said it best, "I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

You know what I love about this quote? She didn't stop at telling us she is a girly girl or that she likes a lot of romance. She went on to say she believes that a new day is coming and on the otherside of the moon is a chance for a miracle. We all should embrace who we are and I know we all want a little...romance...but most of all, we all NEED a miracle. There is something in your life that you have been waiting and hoping for. I'm waiting for answers to some huge issues. I have friends who are waiting for answers and solutions to relationship issues, unfullfilled dreams, and so many other things. The list goes on and on. I want you to have that miracle as bad as I want it for myself. The exciting thing is that God wants to perform one for you and me. My problem is that I forget who is on my side. Assuming responsibility results in me losing focus. I start to think about the mountain in front of me, grab a spoon, and start scooping. Believe me, I work dilegently until I'm exhausted. I work with a passion to solve the issue all the while my actions scream, "I can move the mountain all by myself if I just scoop harder and work faster." After a while the only thing that moves is myself as I collapse. If you don't see me as a pile on the floor you will see me short-tempered and close to tears at the drop of a hat. Do you know what I mean? I forget about the great big God that is anxiously awaiting my surrender to Him so He can perform the miracle and move that mountain.

Today, at church, our pastor said we need to start making appointments with God. We make appointments with everyone else but not God. I know He is the one who can do supernatural miracles and yet I don't go to Him first. Something is wrong with that picture. I'm daydreaming about the miracles which will be present this week if I stop trying to make things happen and instead sit back and reorganize my time. I'm committing to putting things in order. God first, family second, career third, and then everything else.

Thank you God for promising us a miracle.

I believe in colors that paint the sky with hope with each rainbow. I believe in love that stands the test of time. I believe in living as if there is no tomorrow. I believe in never leaving without a kiss and saying I love you. I believe the most beautiful girls I know love God with all their heart and it shines on their face as they endure and stand in faith. I believe in tomorrow. I can't wait to see the miracles! ~ Amber

I heart Mr. GG ~

Mr. GG is my new friend. He taught me something about myself that I didn't know I needed to learn. Before I tell about what I learned I want to tell you about my new friend. He is magnificent. The most amazing thing about him is that he listened to everything I had to say and with no words showed me areas in myself that I needed to overcome. The more I engaged the more he responded to me as though we had always been friends. Our time together was short. Really we were only able to spend a few hours together and it was one of the best times of my life! Romance is such a funny thing. He romanced me with his never ending strength. It was like he has always been there and will always be. One thing about Mr. GG is he forever changed me and for that I will always love him!

You see, we met for the first time last week. I was in San Francisco visiting for the first time. I heard he could change my life if I was brave enough to introduce myself and pour out my heart to this stranger. As I was approaching him I realized that I might not be welcomed or comfortable interacting with him. He was huge and I felt overwhelmed by his powerful presence. As I moved closer to meeting him, I realized that I really didn't want to be alone on this voyage. I began to question what I was really fearful of and what that meant in my life. Really now, I tried to slap myself with reality. I'm here in public with lots of other people, although strangers, I was not alone. But, I was the only one who had any idea of the sadness and fear that gripped me in an unknown city where I knew no one's name for miles and miles. This is the moment I will forever remember. I began a dialog with Mr. GG and spilled out all my fears.

Being alone was not really a bad thing, it was a fantastic thing. It was what I needed in order to think about all God has been teaching and showing me lately. I realized no matter how big a situation may seem it is only as big as you give it the power to be in your life. This is the first blog I have done in 7 months because I haven't know how to express myself in this devestating season of life. My circumstances have been so big in front of me that they were looming like an unwelcomed friend who just doesn't get the point that I wanted to be alone. Ironically, as much as I have longed for that solace I was scared of what was really inside that I needed to process. Realization rained down, Mr. GG was not my nemesis, I have been. For months, I have allowed my pain to overpower my steps. Crossing the threshold of realization was tough but liberating. The song in Annie, Anything You Can Do, was going through my head and I realized I was Annie and Frank all in one. I can do it better! I can do it bigger! I can do anything better than anything I have ever done before!! Wow, what empowerment when my conversation changed to the acceptance that I wasn't going to be consumed. Circumstances are not going to be bigger and better than me or God's power in me. Sometimes it takes embracing fear, looking past what is obvious, and engaging in the unknown. For me, I had to step out and see that I was in plain site. Hiding behind what might come was destroying me. I ventured into the unknown and during my journey I was enamoured by my new friend who showed me the way.

For that reason, I dedicate this to my forever friend, Mr. Golden Gate Bridge. My enlightenment was amazing. The ride from Fisherman's Wharf to Saucalido was only 8 miles but the truth teller of the journey was in what confidence and strength I gained in the ride!

Looking Past Your Feelings - Embracing Faith

Einstein said “You can’t solve a problem on the same level of consciousness that created the problem.” What does this mean to us? Do we need someone else to solve our problems? Does it mean we are each victims in the situations which come our way? Absolutely not! Let’s look at what it does mean.

What can one do when feelings are outweighing facts? First, to admit you operate by feelings first in life circumstances is an act of courage. Maybe you feel the only way you can operate in your present suffering or trials is to react. I want to encourage you with a truth regarding situations versus reactions. You are in control of you! Your relationship with yourself is essential to your ability to cope and function in everything and with everyone who is in your path. You can journey down a path which will coach you to be extraordinary in the things to come your way. I know firsthand from personal experience. You see the last few years have been filled with deep trials for me. I had to learn to take control and surrender it my Coach in life.

In 2006, I began a journey to find out what I was searching for in life. Traveling a path attempting to determine what I really wanted and how I was going to get to that place. The two years following encompassed overwhelming events. I made a trip to Hollywood to see if that was the road I wanted to pursue. I found myself forced into redefining relationship in my life, my husband choosing to leave the marriage, a phase of after divorce decisions which were not in line with my convictions. I began to make choices that created chaos in an already chaotic situation. I learned that prescription drug use, attempts with alcohol to escape, entertaining men who were not worthy to be accepted and staying in a place of defeat did not honor my Abba Father. The God of Heaven began to show me how that in the midst of sorrow there could be great joy. It is amazing how promises breathed into scripture begin to come alive when you surrender the defeat and claim victory.

I choose to embrace the bad and replace it with good. It is our minute, hour, and daily decision on whether we change the course of our life by accepting the hard circumstances. Replacing the bad with good not only gives freedom, but it also allows you to gain control over your life (feelings). As my life continued spiraling out of control I must confess that staying in control was not always my reaction. The truth is I finally reached a breaking point in which I was able to reach out for help and sort through the areas where feelings were still enveloping my life. A wise man said to me, “You have to know you are sacred and that means you embrace yourself in self care." I want to ask you, have you gone before the throne and embraced who you are in His image so you can begin to care for yourself?

Another act of courage is realizing that feelings are not facts. While sitting at a conference held by a well known speaker I heard the following idea. Think of your mind as an air landing field. The controller watches to determine what is good and what is not good to land on the field in order to control what comes in and out. You have the same control. Do not let every thought land. Take control of your feelings because they will steer you wrong. Embrace the facts of the moment and fly to freedom.

Einstein was so wise. He understood the fact that our consciousness has the ability to be changed. No one is captive to continue doing the same actions which continue to disrupt their life. Instead, we can solve our own problems with a simple change of the mind. Line up with His mind. Embrace the mind of Christ. Soak in His presence. Be filled. Be encouraged. Live an extraordinary life by making extraordinary choices to replace feelings with facts. You can do this!

Amber Dawn Welsh - Founder and Owner of *EI* Ministries - "eXtraordinary Inspirations"

Broken and Spilled Out

In 2007 during the time of my divorce I wrote these thoughts. Journey with me through the feels in the dark time to what I've been shown through the pain.

Rambling from my heart in a dark time......
When a person is brave what will they do? Is bravery a fight for justice or surrendering once defeat is realized? With my heart on the line and nothing but the sound of the keyboard and tears hitting the keys I ponder these questions. Who said it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all? That is an absurd statement in my opinion.

To love is to put your heart, soul and being on the line. When putting yourself out on the line in every way and that same love isn't returned where does it leave your heart, soul and being? This is the age old question of so many romances of the past. Romeo and Juliet ended their entire beings for love. Cinderella stood above it all and found a happy end to her trials, but did she? Has anyone heard the rest of her story? What happened in the castle in the days following the grand wedding and kiss? Nothing in life is the fairytale we all dream it could be because unresolved feelings and hurts from the past left unhealed and so many other things stand in the way of the fantasty.

Life is only perfect in the movies and cartoons. What happens to us when we wake up and find out our fairytale ends without the goosebumps of a lifetime commitment? Covenants aren't what they use to be in the old days. The only ways covenants could be broken was by something getting killed and blood was shed for it. Covenants broken still require death and the shedding of blood through the unmentionable pain faced by those who are living the nightmare. It isn't enough to love someone if it isn't returned. When the other person realizes how they feel then the lover has to figure out how to heal the blood shed.

- Pain is fleeting but so devestating during the storm. I discovered an important truth about fairy tales. They are real but they do not look like cartoons display them. I live in my very own magical world of revelation, miracles and supernatural rumblings. Running into the arms of the Creator of the Universe is a fairy tale of its very own. If you are suffering through a time like I was as I cried out for understanding in the writing, be encouraged. There is a time on the other side of the pain that is filled with rejoicing. Run into the arms of the one true Prince! The Prince of Peace. You are a Princess of the Most High King. Embrace the truth of real love. It comes from an unchanging source. He doesn't stop loving. He doesn't give up on the covenant you have together. He is the one true Bridegroom.

Romans 8:39 (New International Version)
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My Story with Sensory Integration Disorder

Imagine a young boy running and laughing after a ball in the street. You hit the brakes to slow down as he jets in front of your car and see his mother running after him waving an apologetic smile towards you. Driving away you notice he must be four or maybe five years old and his mother is required to still keep a close eye on his ventures or he will get himself in trouble by unknowingly falling into danger. This is the natural way we each think children develop and need be parented.
Fast-forward with me to the present reality and see two healthy, attractive children who are ages seven and nine years old. These children struggle in school and socially struggle making close friends. Loud sirens terrify them and thunderstorms cause fear so deep that they can’t stop trembling. These reactions and symptoms do not sound that unusual. The diagnosis they received last year of ADHD also seemed a normal progression in today’s school age children. This was true in my life, for my children, until I read a local article in a child’s magazine regarding, Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I never realized the depth of what reading this article would produce for my life.

My life has been filled with many amazing moments but many tears have fallen amidst the unexpected. I always dreamed of being a mother. At the age of nine I began to fantasize and play mommy with my baby dolls. I remember vividly planning my husband’s love, our wedding, and children to follow. My dreams always played out with my family being a healthy, perfect, God-fearing family. The plans we have for our lives is often different than the true journey we travel. In Oct 2002, my two little bundles were delivered not by a stork but rather by social workers who were readily handing off these two precious children to an eager foster family. Kyle came to me at 3 years old and Caylee at 14 months. The first things I learned about these new bundles of joy were sad. Kyle had been so neglected he didn’t know how to play with toys. Caylee wasn’t walking or talking and was unable to hold up a cup to get a drink by herself. This is the first phase of my path where I dreamily believed all that mattered was giving them enough LOVE. On December 3rd, 2003 my babies officially became my adopted children who I wanted to learn to love more each day. Love is always enough to heal and remove all of the bad they have suffered…right? I always held that deep belief. May 2009 will forever be a road mark on the journey of my life.

In Oct 2009, I took Kyle to a spirit-filled Occupational Therapist. I was referred to go to her for accurate evaluation from a counselor who attends my church. Walking away, four hours later, I was faced with a reality that was breath-taking. "Mrs. Welsh, your son who is almost ten has a serious brain injury. He is functioning with the cognitive, social and emotional development of a five year old. His therapy needs to be intense and will assist in stabilizing some of the absent areas in his development but we can’t be sure it will completely cure his damage" …………How does the truth of this diagnosis sink in to a mother who thought all the love poured out into him should have been enough to make up for the missing links? ……….Daily, I’m discovering missing links are always missing. The only way the puzzle fits perfectly is by filling in the holes with meaningful replacements or finding the pieces lost.

The next day, I took Caylee in for her evaluation and she was also diagnosed with Sensory Integration. Her disability set her back a year and a half but she was young enough when placed with me to receive much of the needed nurture at a young age. Developmental areas with oral stimulation regarding chewing and other word formations are lacking but with therapy there is much hope for a full recovery.
The continued learning to come will be a struggle although, filled with laughter and accomplishment. The deep pain I face right now is how to look at my son and daughter and realize the damage.

I saw a young boy around the age of nine today at Occupational Therapy. He walked with a slight limp and his neck muscles were not strong enough to hold up his head. He gently sucked his fingers for comfort and looked around with big, interested eyes. The reality of his handicap or brain injury was noticeably obvious. When looking at my children the obvious signs are absent. The internal missing holes are there but unable to be seen to the naked eye. Daily, I hope to learn how to see them as special needs (the "walking wounded") and use the love that heals, along with the therapy, to complete their journey towards healthy futures.

Consider the natural evolution of how our children grow. Children start out as infants and before we know it begin to toddle around and balance against tables and chairs. Many say in a blink the same child is suddenly discovering the opposite sex and acne. When children miss the loving gestures of being rocked to sleep and held up by loving arms to steady them as they learn to walk, it greatly changes the makeup of their brains. Many, if not all of children who are adopted suffer with the dysfunction of Sensory Integration. Please, love on your children while you have them and nurture them with the soft touch of a loving parent before they are more concerned with acne than your attention.

My son ran across the street. His legs are long and he ran to fetch the ball rolling ahead of him. He looks as though he is nine or ten years old to anyone viewing but the truth is unseen. I must be there running behind him, waving an apologetic smile at the car who slows as we cross the street. Though he appears old enough to make it on his own, without supervision he will unknowingly put himself in the line of danger.

Amber Dawn Welsh – Founder of eXtraordinary Inspiration, *EI* Ministries

I Have Plenty of Straws

I have plenty of straws, let me share my lemonade with you!

When life gives you lemons make lemonade and invite over all your closest friends!!
What is fear? I wondered today as I hung up my Christmas lights on my tree by myself what it means to overcome fear. For some strange reason I had a fear of doing something so simple all by myself. Now that I am on my own and learning how to overcome each obstacle on my own I am amazed at how my mind has played tricks on me.

So many times I have felt like even simple things require assistance but in reality we only need assistance in the things we choose to allow others to help us with. Two or three or more is usually more fun than one but in the quietness of one you can realize your abilities and reach potentials you never thought possible.

So, if you are like me and fear things or allow panic to control what you do or don’t do then remember one thing. Remember, you can do it. There is nothing in this world you can’t do on your own with God’s help. Set your mind to it and just do it. There is one person in my life I have believed in more than myself lots of times over the last 14 years but he doesn’t see his own potential. There are many of you as my friends I also see what an incredible journey you have to make and am amazed at what you have to offer in this life but you never step out and hang the lights on the Christmas tree by yourself. I don’t want you to have to face a life of heartbreak because you didn’t believe enough to reach your potential. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that we are perfectly and wonderfully made and in His image. You can do this.

Life will give you lemons and you might even make lemonade with them but are you scared to drink it? Take the step and if it is too big all by yourself then invite over all your closets friends and they will hold the glass for you and help you until your hand stops shaking or just hold your other hand until you see that once you take the first drink your fears will vanish and you will see what we all see for you.

I love each life I come in contact with and am so blessed to have so much to give back to you! Thanks everyone who keeps helping me hold my glass until my hand stops trembling.

Knowing His Will

I want to pose a question to you about decisions in life..... How does a person really know what they are supposed to do? Think on that and read along as I share with you what I have learned.

Many times in life I have asked the question or heard others ask, "How do I know what God's will is for my life?" This is a perplexing question to many at different times in varying situations. I bring to you wisdom from trial and error and seeking God's answer with my whole heart.

In life we are faced with choices and those choices will determine the course of our future. These things come in the form of the direction for school, our careers, who to date/marry, timing for starting a family, how to spend our money, and so on and so on. No matter what your personal decision, is it is specific to you and to your life and your situation. No one person walks the same course or has the same experiences that enrich and embodies who they are in the world. Therefore, there is rarely the same answer to the same question. Now, in some situations like....should I choose to eat McDonald's french fries or switch it out for the apples?....everyone should opt for the apples. It's simply because that is the healthiest choice based upon your physical needs, right? I dare to say, no! What if someone has an allergy to apples or an illness that prevents that choice? Now from my personal mission in life towards wellness I would have said upon first glance, "absolutely everyone should choose apples" you may have said, "no way, I can't eat apples because....." but maybe the best choice was to eat at home instead...ha ha. See nothing is cut and dry in any circumstance.

So, how do we know? What tells us that one thing is better than another or one direction or choice is the best one for the moment? Hear what was spoken by Job who was tested with the fire of darkness and yet survived. Job 33:15
"In a dream,for instance,a vision at night,when men and women are deep in sleep, fast asleep in their beds— God opens their ears and impresses them with warnings To turn them back from something bad they're planning, from some reckless choice, And keep them from an early grave, from the river of no return. (The Message)"

Job shares with us (from personal experience) that when we are quiet before God, we will hear His voice. I hear His voice in my dreams,in my quiet time before Him, through specific ordained scripture,by God-fearing people around me and by matching up words of prophesy over me with circumstances in my life. Anytime you are faced with a problem that seems greater than any solution you can see, take it to His throne of grace. He sees the course ahead,He brought you through the course behind and will step with you through the right now.

Ephesians 2:7
Now God has us where he wants us,with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. (The Message)

Face the decision before you with strength! He knows the plans He has for you as spoken in Jer 29:11. Pray and seek His face,favor and fascinating plan. If you need someone to pray with you or for you, just ask. That is what I was created to do in this world. It would be my pleasure to have the opportunity.

New Beginnings

Marriaege is a sacrrred cseremony...(my best impression of the Princess Bride line I can give in writing). Marriage is such a sacred ceremony and on 8/8/08 I tied the knot with the love of my life, Dale. You see things have been a whirlwind in 08 for us but so amazing since the day we met. It is hard to put into words what finding someone who you are meant to be with in life is like. From the minute we met and once we went on our first date, we have been hopelessly happy. Don't get me wrong, all relationships have growing pains. And whew, we have had our fair share of growing pains but that is what shows how real and right we are together. Each time we go through a situation that challenges us we bond closer than super glue. You see, we had planned on getting married in Feb 28th, 2009. Every day seemed to drag on and we longed to be married right away. We thought the logical thing was to wait one year from the date of our first date. So, thru a series of events I moved into an apartment, began working in HR again and surrendered to God that whatever He has planned would be where I would go. We were miserable in this time. Within two weeks of this new arrangement Dale and I both knew we missed each moment we were apart and the kids constantly wanted to get together. Our schedules were pulling us in different directions rather than our family growing together. The end of July we decided we just had to move up the date.....now I take you to 8 days before 8/8/08.......


On 7/31/08 we decided to get a little daring, a little spontaneous and stir up a lot of fun and get married in 8 days. Eight became the new pink to us...lol. Everything was about the "new beginning" that we knew God had planned for us and we wanted desperately and it had to be sooner rather than later. So, we planned it for 8:08pm on the night of our dreams. You see, '08 means, "New Beginnings" and we were both certain that were exactly what we wanted, needed and were more than ready to venture into together. Therefore,
I quickly got in touch with vendors and found an amazing pastor from Love Notes in the DFW area who specializes in Blended Family Ceremonies. The messages the officials carried into the nuptials were beautiful. The passion the Pastor we spoke to showed us he knew what we were about and how amazing our family would be together. We found the most amazing little chapel. It is in Denton, Texas at the Texas Woman's University and is called the Little Chapel in the Woods. The quaint little chapel was beautiful and after the three previously planned wedding rehearsals that night, the chapel was free at 8pm. In the 8 days of preparation all the plans were actually completed and unbelievably perfect. Tuxes were ordered for the groom and three little boys, matching dresses were found at David's Bridal for the bride and daughter. The family "to be" of six would be dressed to kill. Finally, to make it extra special, a limousine was reserved for transportation to and from. Plan was made and things fell right into place.

The evening came quickly, and yet, not quick enough. The colors were red, white and black. The boutonnieres stood out against the black tuxedos with a magnificent red rose glow. The wedding bouquets were brilliant red roses bound with white lace. The excitement of all four kids could be felt from one end of Texas to the other because we were "super stars" for the moment of the limo ride. The kids rode in the back with the bride and the groom in the front with the limo driver since I was unmoving on the fact that the groom couldn't see me until I arrived in the chapel doorway to the Wedding March played on the piano. The ceremony was beautiful. The new uniting family did a sand ceremony to show that all the colors poured together by each new member blended and couldn't be separated although each individual and beautiful in each own way. This ceremony was all about them and for no one else except this happy team. Once over, the new Welsh family rode together in the stretch limo to drop off the kids and toasted to "kid friendly" champagne and enjoyed a private wedding cake. Dale and Amber were whisked away for a mini honeymoon weekend in the limousine, finally alone, and ready to celebrate.

This romance story is far from over, it is just beginning. The next few months are full of fun and uniting activities for the team. We can't wait to share our family with the world. We are certain we are going to be used to impact the world in amazing ways. Our vision together is to show others what it means to love with purity, give with freedom and serve with selflessness.

So, this family together experienced firsthand how, "Marriaege is a sacrrred cseremony" on 8/8/08 and we are all just beginning to see how "love, true love" is what it's all about!

**We want to extend a huge hug and thank you to the few friends who joined us for our special evening. A huge thank you goes out to Expressions of You Photography for the upcoming wedding photos. We love you all!! **

Love and Grace to you,
Amber Dawn